Into the Deep
by lesmisgirl
Summary: Finnick was the only one who could bring Annie out of her dark memories so quickly. Just one word from him and she'd come back. Finnick/Annie
1. Chapter 1

_Bam_.

_No no no no_, Annie felt the shakes coming back again. _I can't be here. I can't._

But there she was, standing in the middle of the field with Odon at her side. She could hear the voice counting down from fifty as if he were whispering it right into her ear.

_Can't be real_, Annie thought, but her conscious began to fade as the voice ended and the tributes ran to the Cornucopia.

Odon ran to it. _Finnick told us not to_, she remembered, but found herself following her district mate to the tempting piles of supplies.

"Annie! Annie!" A voice called, but it sounded too far away to be real. "Annie!"

Annie looked at the weapons, uninterested in them. She could barely hold a sword and was horrible with archery. Darting her eyes side to side, she saw a pile of food a few feet away.

Then she heard a scream. The worst scream she'd ever heard.

She looked over to see Odon.

No, not Odon. Odon's head. The girl from district one was holding it up as if it were a prize fish she'd just caught.

"Annie!"

_Snap_! Annie opened her eyes to see Finnick in front of her, doing that worried pout of his.

_I'm not at The Games_, Annie told herself. The Games were a year ago. She looked to see her familiar beach in her familiar district. She could feel the sea breeze and Finnick's tight grip on her shoulders. _This is real,_ she breathed. Real.

"I'm fine," she squeaked_. I hate when he looks at me like that. I'm not crazy._

_Are you sure?_

Annie swallowed, "I'm fine, Finn."

Finnick squinted, but his worried look seemed to fade. He relinquished his grip and even gave a small smile.

"Well, come on then," he said, sounding normal again. "We won't catch any fish just standing here."

Annie smiled too, happy he didn't ask questions. She sort of liked that. Annie's mother was always asking her questions. Annie didn't want to answer any questions, it just made her relieve the Games. Or the dreams.

Annie's mother always wanted to talk about it, but Annie wouldn't respond. Then her mother would cry.

It had been like that for a year now.

"Annie, come on!" Said Finnick, who was already in the water.

"I'm coming!" She called back, running his way.

He sighed, "Be quiet, you'll scare the fish."

"Sorry," she whispered, coming to his side. "Why am I even here? You know I'm terrible at fishing."

"I like your company," he grasped his trident and stared deeply into the water.

_Bam_.

Annie was in water, drowning. Feeling it full her lungs as if they were nothing at all. Have to swim have to swim. Finn said to-

"Annie," Finnick said. Not in a mean way, just calling to wake her up.

"I'm fine," Annie said once more. "Fine." They didn't talk for a while. It was okay, though. Annie liked the silence sometimes. It could be peaceful. But there was something he wanted to ask him, "When do you go back to the Capitol?"

Finnick didn't look up, "Tomorrow."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Four days."

Annie had asked before why he had to make so many frequent trips, but he never gave a straight answer. It was his secret. The one secret she could never get him to share.

Even best friends had secrets it seemed.

"They don't want me to mentor," Annie said. She knew he already knew. Everyone already knew. Finnick would mentor, not her. Nobody wanted to be reminded of her. She was the mad girl who won The Hunger Games.

They didn't understand. She could still hear the screams. So many screams...

"Annie," Finnick said again in his soothing way.

She had put her hands to her ears. She couldn't even remember doing that.

_I am mad._

Suddenly, Finnick jabbed violently into the water. He flipped his trident to reveal a large, blue fish.

He smiled with his smile that had dazzled all the girls in all of Panem, "Lunch."

"I don't know why you had me come out here with you. I didn't do anything." She said, starting for the shore.

Finnick followed, "I told you, I like your company. Besides maybe you can cook the fish."

Annie scoffed at him.

"You're right," he teased. "If you cooked it, no one would want to eat it."

"I'm not _that_ bad."

"Annie, I've seen you burn ice." She didn't laugh so he nudged her arm, winning him a smile. "Come on, we'll go fix this up and have a nice lunch."

_Bam_.

Odon's head being held up by the vicious blonde girl whose body was decorated with his crimson blood. She laughed like it was the funniest joke of all.

"Annie."

Her hands were clutching sides. She hadn't remembered doing that.

"I'm fine, Finn," She told him.

Finnick was the only one who could bring her out of her dark memories so quickly. Just one word from him and she'd come back.

She hated when he would leave to go to The Capitol.

No one could help her when he was gone.

_I hope whatever is in The Capitol is important,_ she thought bitterly_. It better be very important_.

"Race you to the house," Finnick challenged.

"Don't run while holding a trident, Finn!" Annie scolded.

He drooped his big eyes, "You're no fun, Annie."

"Maybe... But I'm faster than you!"

She ran as fast as her legs could take her.


	2. Sleeping

The pink woman matched the comforter on her bed.

_Why do these Capitol people do this to themselves? Do they rejoice in looking like idiots?_ He thought in disgust. He watched as the woman, writhed on the bed like some dying animal, as though that were supposed to arouse him.

None of this aroused him. Not ever. But he had to do this. The Capitol had already showed him what would happen if he didn't.

"Get over here, Finnick," the pink woman's voice was as thick as honey. What was her name? He couldn't even remember. "I won't bite." She squirmed again.

_God, you are repulsive,_ he thought, but hid his sentiments with his perfect smile. Finnick knew how to put on a good show.

"All right..." He purred, sauntering towards her. "But first, my love," she swooned when he said that. They always did. "Tell me again about the Games this year."

He'd always try to pry secrets from him conquests, and luckily this woman was the sister of the Head Gamemaker.

And all woman would spill their secrets in the bedroom.

Finnick perched over her, kissing the magenta skin on her neck.

Her chest heaved as she breathed heavily, "You mustn't tell anyone."

His sea green eyes met hers, "Of course not, my love."

She swooned again, "All right...Finnick..." The pink lady grabbed the back of his head and pulled her close, "It's going to be played in an abandoned cave system." She kissed his cheek, "But you didn't hear it from me."

_Capitol women are so stupid_, "Of course not," he cooed, kissing her again. "Let's make love now." He kissed her hungrily, making her let out a high pitched giggle.

This was his burden. This was the price for keeping his loved one alive.

So Finnick made love to the pink woman, and all the other ones the Capitol threw at him.

All the while picturing someone else's face over their's.

...

"What are you watching?" Finnick asked Mags walking up behind her. He crunched loudly as he ate some cookies Annie's mother had made.

Mags didn't turn to look at him, "You're back early."

"The last customer cancelled," he said, walking around the couch to sit next to her. Mags knew his secret. She was one of the few. "Where's Annie?"

"You're full of questions," Mags laughed. He liked his laugh. It was old and warm and comforting. "I'm watching coverage of the reapings and Annie went to town with her mother."

Finnick scoffed. He knew personally how much Annie hated trips with her mother.

"I thought the reapings didn't start until next week," he said.

Mags clicked off the screen, "It's just those broadcasts they do to get everyone excited." The cynicism is her voice was undeniable. Mags don't ask about his time in The Capitol. He liked that about her. "When are you going to tell Annie?"

Finnick clenched his jaw, "Tell her what?"

"Why you go off to the Capitol once a month. The poor girl deserves to know. She goes mad without-"

"Don't," he hissed, "call her mad."

Mags nodded slowly, "I'm sorry. Poor choice of words. But she deserves to know. She's your 'best friend'."

Finnick raised a brow, "Why do you say it like that? Of course she's my best friend."

Mags shrugged coyly, "Yes, I know. I've just been noticing something more."

Finnick shook his head, dismissing the possibility. "No, Mags. Do you realize how much danger she'd be in if we were... And besides, I can't tell her about what the Capitol makes me do. I can't do that to her."

Mags just nodded, placing her veiny hand on the arm rest and lifting herself up.

Finnick looked around the house. All the houses in Victor's Village looked the same. Perhaps it was because they all connected to each other. The Capitol wanted to keep Victors close it seemed.

Annie came back a few hours later and they spent the remainder of their day out on the beach. She had a few episodes, but nothing too terrible. She wasn't mad. Not like the other people thought she was.

"Mom doesn't like me," Annie said out of the blue as they sat at the water's edge.

Finnick looked confused, "What? Of course she likes you, she's your mom."

Annie shook her head, "She cries whenever she tries to talk to me. She thinks I'm crazy."

"You're not crazy, Annie."

"I'm not sure," Annie stood up, stretching out her arms wide. "I'm tired. I'm going to get to bed."

Finnick didn't get up, "It's not that late."

"I haven't been sleeping very well."

She mumbled a goodbye and starting walking back to the house.

Finnick breathed deeply, taking in the sea air. It was good to be home. He hated the Capitol. It was so concrete and new. It was all just a circus, truly. Everyone was just pretending to be happy there. Some had been pretending so long that they actually believed themselves.

Sometimes he didn't think the Capitol was that bad.

Then he remembered what they did to Annie.

...

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Finnick stirred in his bed, getting caught in his sheets.

"Yeah?" He yawned, looking at the clock. It was a few minutes after midnight.

The door pushed open an inch, "Finn?"

"Annie?" Finnick sat up, trying to straighten himself out a bit. "What's wrong?"

Her big green eyes dropped, her brown hair all wild. Her nightgown was old and white and a little too big on her. "I can't sleep."

Finnick smiled. When she first came back from the Games, the nightmares had been so terrible that she had to have someone by her side at night. That job had been his. They lie next to each other, back to back, and she seemed to stop having so many bad dreams. Nothing else happened. They would just sleep.

But she hadn't had nightmares in a long time.

"Come here," Finnick said, moving over to make room for her.

She scampered over quickly, getting under the covers in one quick motion. Now that she was closer he saw the tears in her eyes.

"I kept having the same dream. Odon's head was everywhere. All around me and they were drowning me-"

Finnick shushed her. A lock of hair had fallen in front of her face. For some reason, he reached over and moved it.

"Go to sleep," he said.

Then Annie did something unexpected. She moved closer, curled into his chest and fell asleep there.

He put his arms around her, his mind racing.

The one thought it kept racing to was that even though he'd been with a dozen women in the Capitol, this was the most aroused he'd ever been.


	3. Feelings

It had been two weeks since she'd had her first night nightmare, yet Annie continued to come to his room every night.

Finnick wouldn't say it, but it was actually his favorite part of the day. He and Annie had always been close, but he found himself really liking this new closeness they had. Where their friendship had been in his heart, it was turning to something fonder.

He didn't act any differently towards her, hoping his feelings would change. She was just the same Annie after all. The Annie he'd known all his life.

Besides, loving her had already put her in danger.

Being _in_ love with her could only make things worse.

...

The fractures of moonlight that the blinds created rested upon Annie's face and woke her up.

She reached over to feel for Finnick but found him gone.

_Bam._

_Annie could smell the odd mixture of salt water and fear as she walked to the Reaping. _

_This would be her second to last Reaping. Just one more year and then the fear would be over._

_Except that the fear was an illusion. Careers would always volunteer to take your place. Still, no one wanted to hear their name called. Because what if no one volunteered after all and you had to go?_

_As long as there are careers, you won't be Reaped, she reminded herself. Someone will volunteer. They nearly always do._

_Then everything started to move quickly. Annie was now standing with all the other seventeen year old girls, watching as Anastasia took the podium, talking in her ridiculous voice._

_She'd died her hair blue to "match the district."_

_"This year," she said in her high pitch voice, "there has been a slight rule change: Volunteers will not be taken."_

_Fast forward again. Anastasia's long nailed hand dipped into the glass bowl and pulled out a slip of paper._

_"Annie,"_ Anastasia's mouth opened but the voice belonged to another. It was Finnick. She looked up and saw his standing near the foot of the bed. He walked over and slid under the covers.

"I was thinking about my Reaping," Annie whispered.

Finnick nodded, "It's just because the Reaping is tomorrow."

"Eric will be here to dress us up," Annie said with a groan. "And then we have to sit there and watch them pick people to..." She couldn't finish the sentence. "And the we leave for the Capitol."

They'd be on desperate trains. Annie would go just for the Opening Ceremonies but Finnick would have to stay and mentor. She's be without him for three weeks. The thought made her start to shake.

"Let's worry about that tomorrow," he said with a sad smile. He placed his arms around her to calm her convulsions.

Annie cuddled into his chest and fell asleep there.

...

Annie's dress was precisely the color of Finnick's eyes.

Eric said that color matched her eyes, but she knew he was wrong. The dress was sea green, like Finnick's eyes. Annie's were more of an emerald color.

Annie was gazing at herself in the bathroom mirror. She hadn't looked this pretty since last year. She supposed she'd have to get used to getting dolled up. She'd be made all pretty again in a few days when she attended the opening ceremonies.

"You look lovely," Annie's mother had appeared outside the bathroom. People said Annie looked like her but she didn't see it. Annie had her father's dark hair and green eyes.

_Bam._

_"Daddy, where are you going?" Annie was so short that she was at eye level with his thighs. She was six, and her father was looking down on her._

_She thought he was crying. She'd never seen her daddy cry._

_He ruffled her hair like he always did, but this one didn't feel like a hello. This one felt like a goodbye._

_"I'm going to the Capitol, sweetie," his voice cracked. "I be back...soon."_

"Annie!" Her mother yelled loudly, bringing her back to the present. Now her mother was crying. Her mother was always crying.

"What's wrong, Mrs. Cresta?" Finnick appeared next to her, clad in a deep blue suit. Her mother whispered something that Annie couldn't hear. Finnick muttered back, but Annie could hear him, "I know it's hard, but she's fine. You don't need to treat her differently."

So they talk about her. Of course they do. Everyone does.

Finnick finally looked at her and this strange smile spread on his face. Annie couldn't quite name the look he was giving her. She'd seen other boys stare at other girls that way, but no one had ever looked at her like that.

It made her feel naked.

...

The train ride was long and dull and full of Anastasia jabbering on about manners and how to present yourself.

Finnick just sat in the large navy chair near the window that was so comfortable it was almost uncomfortable. Annie hasn't done well at the Reaping, not that he had thought she would. She started screaming at one point, then holding her ears and muttering at another. He found that holding her hand kept her calm, but that in itself was dangerous. President Snow was always watching.

He gazed out the window at the scenery going by so quickly it only looked like stripes of blue and green with the occasional grey.

"This train is stupid," it was the girl tribute, a career named Angel who must have been named that ironically for she was anything but heavenly. The girl had more muscle than most full grown men and a sneer that could kill someone. "There's nothing to fight with." She sat at the dining table, look at the food and sneered. Finnick was honestly surprised that the food didn't spoil from it.

"Idiot," said the boy, Kal, replied sitting across from her. "We're not supposed to train until we get to the Capitol."

Angel rolled her large, doey eyes and ran a thick finger across the table. "I don't even need to train. If that crazy chick, Annie Cresta, can win then anyone can."

_Don't do anything rash_, Finnick told himself as he balled his hands into fist. _The Capitol has eyes everywhere. _

_Was I ever as bad as these idiots?_ Finnick thought to when he was a career. Excited to be in the Hunger Games. Brain washed into thinking it was for honor and glory.

Try slaughtering an innocent eleven year old girl and then see how honorable you feel.

Kal snorted in laughter, "Did you see her today? Screaming at nothing and talking to herself!" He laughed again. They were so caught up in laughing that they didn't even notice Finnick had walked over, and picked up two table knifes. In a swift motion, he planted one between their fore and middle finger on each of them.

"You know," Finnick's laugh was bitter, "everyone comes in here thinking they can win because they were top in the class and they know how to hold a sword. Let me tell you, most people die for stupid reasons. Last year, three fourths of the tributes died for one reason: not knowing how to swim. Hard to throw a knife at someone when you're drowning." He plucked up the knifes from in front of the stunned silent kids. "If you don't want to die, then I suggest learning how to survive."

...

_Bam._

_Finnick stood above her, but younger now. Seven or eight it seemed. His smile was as bright as the sun._

_"See, Annie, swimming is easy," he said, splashing around her. "It doesn't take long to learn."_

_"Dad said he would teach me," Annie said. "He hasn't come back from his trip yet."_

"Annie," Finnick said, stepping up next to her. They'd arrived in the Capitol moments ago, met with thunderous applause and screaming girls. The girls were just for Finnick, though.

Something stirred inside of Annie when she saw them. How they swooned over him and blew kisses. It was a deep, angry feeling. She wanted them to stop looking at him like that. He wasn't theirs.

_Not yours either,_ a voice reminded her.

And he won't be. Not ever. No one wants to love a mad girl.

"I'll meet up with you later tonight," Finnick told her over the screaming crowd. She didn't even have time to respond before he want to greet his adoring audience. All full of charm as charisma. The Capitol's favorite guy.

It made her want to cry.

She wasn't even sure why.


	4. Trust Me

Finnick couldn't sleep.

Maybe it was the partying going on outside of his window. The Capitol was alive with energy, everyone excited for the impending games.

Maybe worry was keeping him up. President Snow had informed him that he had a new customer to take care of tomorrow after the Opening Ceremonies. She would be accompanying them there.

_Annie will see us. _The thought made him sick. He would have to explain his situation to her. _You're going to break her heart._

Finnick tossed and turned again.

He wasn't going to sleep well tonight.

...

The noise backstage at Caesar Flickerman's show was deafening. Annie had to cover ears to hear herself think. She hated loud noises. They made her cringe.

_They're all staring at you,_ she looked at the line of tributes against the wall. She walked quicker to get past them and to her seat. Her high heeled shoes clicked and clacked on the floor as he walked out into the stadium and up into the special box seating for Victors.

The noise was even worse out in the audience.

_Bam._

_"Mom," Annie was sucking her thumb, sitting on their small wooden table. "When will daddy be home?"_

_Her mother's eyes didn't even turn to her, "I don't know, sweet."_

_"It's been two months."_

_"I know."_

_Her mother didn't look at her._

_Her mother hadn't looked at her in two months._

"Annie," somehow Finnick's whisper of her name cut through the noise.

"Finn," she was so relived to see him that she almost stood up from her chair to hug him.

It was then she noticed the green haired girl at his side.

"Who's this?" Her voice sounded like the aftertaste of bubblegum and cotton candy.

Finnick looked at her in a terrible way. He sneered a bit. "Annie Cresta. Last year's victor."

"Is she the mad one?" The girl said loudly, as if she thought being mad also meant being deaf.

Finnick just shrugged, and scooted past Annie to his chair. A seat had been saved for his little arm candy. She didn't know guest were allowed in the Victors' section.

Annie hated the green haired girl. Annie hated her more than she had hated anyone before.

"Who is she?" Annie hissed into his ear but he acted like he didn't hear her.

Tears were stinging in her eyes, burning them to the stem. _Don't cry. They'll just think you're mad._

_You are, aren't you? To think Finnick was... _

Never. Finnick only thought of her as a friend. Maybe she was even wrong about that.

Annie looked over and saw Finnick and the green girl kissing passionately.

_Bam._

_No one had asked Annie to the Fisherman's Festival. Everyone else had dates. Even Finnick. He was going with someone from his Career Training._

_I am ugly, she thought a she watched the waves of the ocean crash and fall. Her knobby knees curled into her chest as she sat alone on the shore. I'm too tall and my arms are too long and my hair is weird and my eyes are too big and I talk too much and I'm ugly..._

_"Hey, Annie," Finnick walked over and sat next to her. "What's wrong?"_

_She sniffed, "Everyone's got a date to the Fisherman's Festival except for me."_

_He offered her half of an orange but she shook her head. Finnick shrugged and took a bite himself, "It's just because the guys are too scared to ask you. I bet they all want to go with you."_

_"You're just trying to make me feel better."_

_"Maybe," he took another bite. "But you're easily the prettiest girl in our grade."_

"Annie," Finnick's whisper retrieved her again.

Annie bit her lip, "Talking to me now? I thought your mouth was occupied with other..._things_." A tear fell down her face. Damn the tears. Now she just looked pathetic.

Finnick opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to change his mind. His concerned face came out, "Why are you crying?"

"I feel sick," It was the first excuse she could think of and not entirely a lie. Annie stood and climbed over several other Victors to get out of the aisle and back into the lobby area. The music blaring behind her signified the start of the ceremonies. The lobby would be empty now.

Annie was left with her thoughts that ran so fast she could hardly keep up.

_That's why he comes to The Capitol so much. It's to see his little girlfriend. He's never been interested in you. He has her. Nobody wants you._

She realized how true that was.

Her mother didn't want her. She'd made that clear years ago. Annie only reminded her of the husband who'd never come home and the life she'd never have.

The Capitol didn't want her. She was a disgrace. A bad example. A mistake.

District Four didn't want her. Mad people can't help feed the citizens. Mad people can do nothing.

And worst of all, Finnick didn't want her.

_But then why does he allow you to sleep next to him every night?_

"Annie!" Finnick yelled at her. She realized she gotten pretty far into the lobby. She hasn't remembered doing that. Now, she was gazing out the large windows to the city. "Annie, you have to listen to me."

She didn't turn to look. Her eyes glued to the window, trying with all her might to block him out.

"Annie," he stood behind her, chin on her shoulder. "I can't explain much here, but I will it explain it all when we're home. All of it. I swear."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Annie's voice caught in her throat. "About her. I would have understood. You have a girlfriend in the Capitol and that's...fine. It's fine." Her voice was so icy that even she herself could feel it's power. "You should've told me instead of making me think that you-"

"She's not my girlfriend." Finnick's voice was sharp. "Annie, just trust me now. Trust what I'm saying _now_." He leaned ever closer into her ear. "There are eyes everywhere so listen _now_." He lowered his voice even more. "I'm going to be doing a lot of pretending. It's all just an act, Annie. A circus. Just ignore the sparkle. Listen to what I'm saying now: None of the girls you'll see me with me anything to me. I just have to pretend they do or the Capitol will hurt everyone I love." He breathed, "They'll hurt you."

Annie turned around, finally brave enough to face him yet still confused as ever. Was this all real? Was she just imagining this? Would the real Finnick call to wake her up from this strange daydream?

"Is this real?" Annie felt another tear come down her face. "Am I imagining this?"

He shook his head firmly.

"You says girls." Annie breathed heavily. "What do you mean?"

"I'll explain when we're home," Finnick repeated. "Until then, you just have to trust what I'm saying right now. Not what I do later."

Annie felt her face growing warmer, "So that girl... Doesn't mean anything to you?"

Finnick looked so deeply into her eyes she thought he was gazing at her soul, "The girl I love doesn't live in the Capitol."

_Bam._

_Finnick grabbed her face with both hands, pulled her close and kissed her with incredible force just for a moment._

"Trust me," his voice pulled her out of the fog, but his hands were still on her face, just as they had been in her vision.

And she could still feel the kiss burning on her lips.

Was that real? Did she imagine it?

Finnick left before he could ask.

She wanted so much to believe it was true.


	5. I Hate All of You

**Short chapter to hold you over.**

**Love all the support :)**

"So, Finnick," Caesar Flickerman's smiled at him with a mouthful of silver teeth. It was a new craze at the Capitol. Finnick just thought it made everyone look like robots. "Got any special girls?"

He gave his famous smirk-smile and all the girls in the audience swooned. Most mentors didn't get interviewed, but Finnick was special. He was the Capitol's favorite guy.

"Well, I do love this one girl," Finnick said. He could tell half the females in the audience thought that he was talking about them. "But I don't think it's going to work out for us. Ill-fated it seems."

Caesar squinted and then laughed, "I don't believe that. You're a handsome man. I'm sure all love is fated in your favor." The Capitol cheered and Finnick painted on a smile. _If only you knew, Caesar. The odds are never in my favor._

He shrugged coyly, oozing sexuality as much as he could. "It's a forbidden love." _That should make them happy. Every girl here thinks they're my forbidden love._

My real forbidden love is in District Four, probably watching the TV and cringing any time someone says "Hunger Games".

"I actually, wrote a poem for her," Finnick smirked again. "Want to hear it?" Everyone cheered for him.

_This is stupid, Finnick, you can't pull a move like this._

_Relax, no one in the Capitol will be smart enough to figure it out._

_This is a rebellion, Finnick. Remember what they did last time you felt rebellious._

But he had to do it. Had to let this anger inside of him out somehow. No one would figure out the secret message in the poem.

Well, President Snow would. Finnick sort of wanted him too. For what he did to Annie, President Snow deserved this poem and more.

"Read it!" Caesar said, prompting the crowd to chant, "Read it! Read it! Read it!"

Finnick stood, cleared his throat, and unrolled the piece of paper that was in his pocket.

"Innocent and lovely

Hair like a queen

A regal and kind beauty

The best I've ever seen

Everyday my heart yearns

All night I think of you

Loving you in wonderful

Loving you is what I do

Oh, my beautiful love

Finest of all you are

You make my heart sing loudly

Oh, dear, you are my star

Undying devotion,

Finnick Odair."

He heard sniffles in the audience, from the Capitol citizens who thought that it was just a beautiful poem written about love and devotion.

Finnick looked up to where Snow was sitting, and saw the suspicious look on the old man's face.

No doubt he'd uncover Finnick's little hidden message soon enough.

_That's for what you did to Annie,_ Finnick thought. He gave snow a snarky little smile and returned to his seat.

One day, Snow would pay for what he did to Annie.

Everyone would pay.


	6. A Chess Match

Finnick woke up next to a woman named Kelena.

He'd been "going out" with her for a few days, because she was rich and the Capitol would get more money from her. Finnick couldn't believe the Capitol needed any more money. They seemed to already have a monopoly in that field.

Finnick stopped taking cuts of the money last year, when he turned nineteen. It made him feel like a prostitute. Yes, he knew that was what he was, but the money made it all more real.

So he took secrets from his conquests. He decided that information about the Capitol was far more valuable than any gold or fine gift.

Because if he could figure out how the Capitol worked, maybe he could understand them more.

Oh yes, Finnick understood them more and it didn't do anything to sway his hatred. In fact, it made it all the more fervent.

He hadn't always hated the Capitol. Once, he'd even revered it as a place of honor and nobility.

He thought the Capitol liked him. He was their golden boy and everyone adored him.

Well, mostly the women adored him and they were offering to pay high prices to _adore_ him. Prices the Capitol liked.

Finnick always had a feeling, though, that they didn't sell his body for money. They did it, simply, because they could. Because they wanted to control him.

It didn't start until he was sixteen, two years after his victory at the Hunger Games. He was just told to take the women on dates at first. Escort them to parties and what not.

Then he turned eighteen, and the stakes got a little higher.

He'd refused at first, as most people would, and the Capitol seemed okay with it.

Then they reaped Annie at the Hunger Games. They reaped her just to get a message to him.

_We control you. You disobey, we kill your loved ones._

And he would always hate the Capitol for that.

Finnick stood up and walked to the dresser where he'd left his things. He found and pencil and paper, and wrote a note to Kelena. The usual stuff, "I'm sorry, my love, but I have to end this now blah blah blah blah..." Then he grabbed his small backpack and slipped on his shirt and pants. He got to the door and opened it.

A peacekeeper was on the outside.

"Can I help you?" He asked, leery of the the tall, white suited man.

"President Snow seeks an audience with you," the robotic voice said. The peacekeeper turned and marched down the hall. He knew without being told that he had to follow.

"I have to get back to my tributes soon. It last day before the-"

"You will speak with President Snow first."

Finnick didn't say anything else after that.

After going down a labyrinth of hallways, they eventually landed at a large room that Finnick could only assume was a Presidential Suite. How oddly fitting.

The peacekeeper opened the door and Finnick stepped inside, sort of wishing he'd worn something nicer.

_Why? This man doesn't deserve your respect._

He tried to silence his rebellious thoughts. It always seemed like the old man could read minds.

President Snow was at the window, gazing out over his city and sipping tea. He smelt weird. Sort of like a dead body. An eerie mix of blood and roses.

He turned around slowly, and feigned surprise at seeing Finnick. The old man knew very well that he was here.

"Ah, Hello, Finnick," President Snow placed his dainty tea cup onto a saucer. "I trust you slept well."

Finnick watched the President gingerly place his tea onto his desk without spilling a drop, "Very well, sir."

"No need for formalities, Mr. Odair," President Snow, lowered himself into his large, ornately carven desk chair. "Please, sit."

Finnick sat in the smaller carved chair, right across the desk from Snow. It was uncomfortable with wooden designs poking out at different points of his body. He couldn't believe Snow was comfortable either, but he gave no sign of feeling differently.

"That was a nice little poem you read a few nights ago," President Snow's eyes gave away nothing. "How sweet it was." He sipped his tea. "I always love a good acrostic poem."

"I thought it was amusing," Finnick said, with an easy smile. It was like he was playing chess with the President, each one carefully thinking out their next move.

"Amusing, perhaps, but uncalled for," President Snow said calmly. "Some of the people in the other districts pieced together your little acrostic." He sipped again. "I cut your poem out of all the other tapings."

"A wise choice."

The President squinted, "This is not a game, Mr. Odair. There are Hunger Games and then there are wars. Would you like a war?"

Finnick dropped his bluff, and suddenly looked very confused. A war? What war?

"Tensions are always high in the districts, Mr. Odair. And a famous Victor making a stand makes everyone think that they can take a stand. Soon we have farmer taking a stand. Miners taking a stand."

"Listen," Finnick said. "I didn't mean to start anything. It was just a little joke. I won't pull anything again."

Isn't he overreacting? Are things so bad in the districts that they could be riled by a little practical joke? A little hidden "I hate all of you" in his poem?

President Snow sighed, "How is Annie Cresta, Finnick?"

Finnick felt his heart drop into his stomach. "Fine," his voice was careful, controlled. "Why?"

He sipped his tea calmly. His calmness was more terrifying than any yelling could ever be, "You two are just so close. It be a shame if something happened to her."

"Why?" His anger rose. "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing," Again, he sipped the tea. _What's in that tea cup? Blood?_ I wouldn't doubt it. "It's just that for someone who is 'so in love' with Capitol women, you spend a lot of time with your beautiful friend from district four."

Suddenly, a small black box on the president's table lit up. It projected an image into the air. An image that made his stomach sink even more.

It was his kiss with Annie. The Capitol had seen it.

Of course they had. The Capitol sees everything. I wouldn't be surprised if they knew about how he and Annie shared a be each night.

"Don't let this happen again," President Snow said. "I really don't want any more blood on my hands."

_Check mate_, was what the President was really saying.

_I won't hesitate to kill her,_ was what the President was saying.

Finnick simply nodded and left without being dismissed.


	7. Crazy

Annie sat near the water's edge and felt its cool finger tips reach out and grab her toes. She always liked the water. It was probably a natural thing, having grown up in district four. Her mother had thought that water may scare her after what had happened in the arena, but it did not. Water was too much a part of her to ever scare her.

"Annie, are you hungry?" Her mother must have walked out earlier. Annie hadn't noticed her.

She shook her head and looked at her lap. She'd been tying knots for hours, working on a fishing net for no real reason. Her father had taught her how to make nets and he'd sold them for extra money. Now it was just a comfort.

"Annie!" Her mother said in a stern voice.

_I'm not an animal, stop yelling at me like I am._ Annie didn't say anything back. Usually her mother would just leave.

_Bam._

_It had been four months since Annie's father had left for his trip to the Capitol. Four months and she had no word of him. None. _

_He's probably dead, she regretted thinking it. He can't be dead. He said he'd come back. _

_He'd missed her birthday. She was seven now and he hadn't been there. _

_Annie walked out to the water, even though she knew the waves were too rough for her._

"Annie..." Someone called her name very softly, but they were too far away to be important.

_Before she knew it, a large wave loomed over her an covered her up like an iron blanket. She tried to fight it, but it was too strong._

_Then the scene changed. Annie was in the arena, thrashing about in the violent waters that had poured out of the dam. People were screaming all around her, but the sound of the waves soon drowned them out._

_The boy from district eleven grabbed onto her for support, but she just screamed and knocked him._

_She hadn't meant to kill him._

"Annie, come back. It's not real," the voice said again. It was closer this time. Almost as though it were inside her head. "You aren't there, you're here. You're here in district four and so am I. You're making a net."

Was she? She didn't know what was real.

_Suddenly, she was seven again and someone was dragging her out of the water. They breathed air into her lungs until she woke up._

_It was Finnick._

"Annie, remember the net you're making? It's green and very large. You're sitting right here on the shore. You're with me."

"Finn," she pulled herself out of her daydream and embraced him. "You're back!"

"So are you," he mumbled into her shoulder. "Yes, I just got back. I haven't been sitting here long." He pulled out of the embrace and looked into her eyes, "What were you thinking about?"

"I thought about when I was seven and you saved me from drowning," Annie said, shivering a bit. "And about the arena." She remembered something she'd been planning to ask him, "What did you want to tell me? You told me you had something to tell me when we were at the Opening Ceremonies. You know...about the Capitol girls?"

Finnick laughed, and looked at her in a way that made he think she truly was crazy. "What are you talking about, Annie?"

_Did I imagine all of that? No. I couldn't have. It was all so real. He kissed me. He promised he'd... _"No. No, you know what I'm talking about, Finn."

"No, Annie. I don't."

"Yes," her eyes felt teary. Why didn't he understand? Why was he acting like she was crazy? "Finn, you know what I'm talking about! I'm not crazy."

He turned solemn, "I never said you were crazy."

Annie felt her mind whirling. Had she truly imagined the whole ordeal? Was she truly loosing her whole grasp on reality?

"But..." Her words were careful. "But you said you don't remember. It happened. You talked to me and told me that you were going to explain everything to me. You...you kissed me."

Finnick's face revealed nothing. It was just blank, as if he hasn't heard her at all. Staring at her blankly, like her mother would do.

_Bam._

_Finnick was standing in front of her in some hellish, desert like place. Annie knew this wasn't a memory. This was a horror that her mind had created._

_He sneered at her and turned to look at the girl by his side. It was the district one girl. The one who beheaded Odon. Then a bunch of other girls showed up, all wearing the wacky clothes of the Capitol. Annie thought they didn't see her at first. Thought that she had faded into some nonentity._

_Then they all stared at her. Suddenly they all had weapons. _

_It was her own personal Hunger Games. _

_Even Finnick was armed. His trident gleamed, a deadly extension of his arm._

"Annie, hey, listen," it was his voice, but the fearsome Finnick's mouth did not move. He moved forward, stalking her like she was some fish he meant to impale. "You've got to listen. Things aren't safe here. I'll explain it all when we get inside."

_The deadly Finnick came right up to here, smiling in a terrifying way. He lifted the trident._

Suddenly, Annie was back on the shore, away from her terrifying dream.

Finnick's hand was on her shoulder. She screamed and moved away, part of her brain still on edge. He jerked away from her, and Annie knew he was hurt but she didn't have time to comfort him.

Annie couldn't tell what was real and what was fake. Finnick had said it would get easier to tell real from imaginary as years went by but he was wrong. It just got worse.

She was running to the house.

She didn't even remember standing up.

...

Finnick found Annie sitting in her room, back against the wall, sobbing uncontrollably. Not a pretty type of crying. It was a true, deep, agonizing crying. It was uncomfortable to watch.

He wanted to go out his arms around her, but was afraid she'd just push him away again.

_You did this to her_, he hated the thought but he knew it was true. He denied something that had really happened and now she was losing her grip on reality.

_But I did it to protect her_, he thought. It was a stupid thought. A weak excuse to make himself feel better. He hadn't protected her. He just made everything worse.

Finnick walked slowly into the room and sat down across from her. She didn't even notice him.

"Annie, I'm sorry," his voice sounded small and pathetic. "Annie, all those things I said at the Capitol were real. That all was true. I kissed you. It was real."

Annie finally looked up, her large eyes drooping down, "Real?"

"Yes." He smiled and nodded. "Real."

Annie reached up her arm, wiping it across her face, "You...you said it wasn't and I got confused." She stammered and started crying again. "I thought...I thought that if you thought I was crazy, then I really must be." She burrowed her face in her hands.

_She's not mad just...unstable_. That's what the doctors had said when she came back from the Games last year. "Annie," he dared to place a hand on her's and she didn't pull away. "I have a lot to tell you. Will you listen? It will be hard to listen to, but I really need to explain things to you."

She looked up after a moment, her sea green eyes staring into his, "I want to know."

"Okay," he sighed. He leaned back, preparing to say what he'd been planning to say for a while. _She'll hate me. She won't like me anymore. _"Okay," he silenced his thoughts. "I'll explain everything."


	8. Confessions

Finnick took a deep breath, and Annie waited anxiously. He'd never really told anyone his full story. He'd told some of to Mags, and he really had no family to tell.

_She'll hate you. Judge you. Think you're weak._

Finnick decided it was best not to look at her. He stared at the wall instead.

"I've been popular in the Capitol from the start. Especially with the women. When I turned sixteen, the Capitol hired me out to go on dates with well to do women. They threatened to kill my parents if I disobeyed so I didn't."

He stole a look at her. There was no judgement in her eyes, not hatred. Her felt he could tell her anything, and she would never think badly of him.

He continued, "Then I turned eighteen, and President Snow wanted me to have sex with my dates. I refused at first. Then, just to show that they could, they reaped you in The Hunger Games...to hurt me. To show that they would kill my loved ones if I disobeyed. To show that they had eyes everywhere to know that I was close to you."

He looked at her again, and Annie showed no emotion. He could tell she was listening, but she seemed unaffected.

"Then my mom passed away a few days later. I doubt that had anything to do with the Capitol had anything to do with that, but it got me thinking. So I agreed to do what President Snow wanted. I didn't take money from my clients, I took their secrets." He swallowed, "I've had a lot of really famous clients. I know a lot about President Snow now."

Annie finally showed some emotion. It wasn't pity or hatred. Finnick couldn't have bared those. It was just sadness. Her green eyes drooped down.

"If I stop, they'll kill those I love," Finnick said quietly. "I don't doubt they'd do that. I know another mentor, Johanna Mason, who disobeyed Capitol orders and they killed her family in front of her. Right in front of her."

Finnick was expecting that to set Annie off. He thought she cup her ears or bang her head against the wall in the way she did when something upset her. But she did not. She just sat staring.

"I can't afford to have them kill anyone," Finnick said. "The reason I don't talk to my father anymore is that I thought if I acted like I didn't care about him, he would be safe." He finally locked eyes with her. He'd begun to cry. He didn't remember when he'd started, "I can't afford to have them kill you, Annie. That's why I can't act like you're special to me when we're any place but here. They'll kill you."

She didn't say anything for a while. He had just put a load of heavy information on her. Finnick was sure they just sat there staring at each other for ten minutes, tears dropping down his face ever so often.

...

_I can't believe they did that to you_, Annie thought. She couldn't get her mouth the move though. _They hurt you. How dare they hurt you._

_He's crying,_ she noted. _He never cries._

Annie reached up her right hand, wanting to brush away his tears, the realized that touching him was not wise. Finnick had never really liked to be touched, and now Annie knew why.

He looked a bit bewildered at her extended arm, but the saw what she meant to do. He grabbed her arm and placed her small hand on his face.

Annie rubbed her thumb across his cheek, sweeping up a tear in her wake. Finnick breathed deeply, his amazing eyes still locked on her's.

Then they leaned into each other and fell into an embrace. His sobs were soft in her ear, and it was her turn to comfort him. Gently, she messaged the hair at the back of his neck. It seemed to calm him and soon the crying stopped.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Shhh," Annie whispered, not really sure what else to say.

She hated the Capitol. Hated it more than she'd hated anything ever before. They hurt her Finn. They made him cry.

And if Finn was crying, they must have wounded him terribly.

"I can't let them hurt you, Annie," Finnick said. "I'll fight them one day, but now I just need to keep you safe."

"But they're hurting you."

His hand rubbed her back, "I'm used to it. Besides, I don't matter all that much."

Annie pulled back, "You matter. I don't know what I'd do without you." Her hand cupped the side of his face. "I'd just be the crazy girl from district four."

Finnick reached up and took her hand, entrapping it his grip.

Annie felt new feelings for him all in an instant. They were so alike. More alike than she'd ever thought. Both victims of the Capitol. Both forever changed by President Snow's influence.

"You're not crazy," his eyes blazed into her own. Annie wanted to kiss him but knew that that was a very wrong thing to do.

"Really?" She laughed weakly. "I'm not so sure."

Finnick pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently. Annie, surprised by this, blushed a bright red. "Well, I did just tell you that I sell my body and you didn't run away in disgust. That's a little bit crazy."

"You could never disgust me," Annie said kindly.

Finnick let out a laugh in relief and gripped her hand tighter. She didn't really know what he was doing, what he was wanting her to do.

Annie was so bad at reading signs from people.

...

Finnick leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. He'd left out the part about President Snow threatening to kill her personally. He didn't want to trouble her more than necessary.

She looked so confused. Like she did not know what he was trying to tell her.

Annie shut her eyes, "You don't have to do this, Finnick."

"Yes, I do." He whispered back. "I have to keep you safe."

Her brilliant green eyes met his. Suddenly, she got that fearful look in her eyes that comes before she gets a daydream. He gripped her hand tighter and the look went away.

Annie scooted closer to him, "Why?"

"Why?" He touched a lock of her hair. Her hair was always so wild. "Because I love you, that's why." He wrapped his arms around her and tried to bring her closer to him._ I want to kiss you_, he was saying. He hoped Annie could hear.

Obviously, she could not. She pulled away, and curled further into herself.

"Hey...Annie," he said quietly, giving her a small smile.

She had her dazed look. Her mind had gone somewhere else. Somewhere dark and bad. Her hands covered her ears

Finnick moved to sit next to her. He reached up and took her hands off of her head, "Annie, do you remember what this week is? The Hunger Games are over now and this week is the Fisherman's Festival." The terror was leaving her eyes. "You and I should go together."

Annie's nightmare ended, and she turned to look at him, "I'm sorry, Finn, I-"

"You don't have to apologize," he told her, but he wanted to cry as well. _You're the mad one, Finnick Odair, if you think that there is a future for the two of you._ "Want to go out fishing with me? This room is getting depressing."

...

"Okay," Annie nodded, rubbing her eyes again. She took his hand and he helped her to stand.

There was something happening before she spaced out. Something important. It made her feel...oddly.

Then she remembered him leaning in close to her, like he did one time before.

_He meant to kiss me._

That's why he looks so distraught. He tried to kiss her when the nightmare came on. He thought he did it to her.

"Finn, wait." She said. He stopped in the doorway and turned to look at her.

A thousand thought rushed into her mind. _Kiss him? You don't know how to kiss? What if he doesn't want to kiss you? What if you're bad at it? What if..._

She pressed her lips against his. He seemed surprised at first, but soon returned the kiss eagerly.

...

_There will be consequences for this._

Finnick knew it but he was selfish.

_Why did you tell her all those things? They can take her for information now._

_I didn't tell her anything that the Capitol doesn't already know._

_You've made her important to you now. The most important. _

_They'll take her to use against you. Whenever you disobey, and you know you will, they will take her. And they will hurt her._

Finnick silenced the thoughts. Right now, he was kissing Annie Cresta.

And right now, that was all he wished to focus on.


	9. Thoughts

Finnick always focused better when he was in the water. It was as much a part of his body as his blood and bones. They said water made up seventy percent of your body, but he was certain it made up ninety eight percent of his.

He stood silently, waiting for the fish to come near him. Waiting in the quiet, his mind drifted. Fishing was a good time for thinking.

It had been a few weeks since he and Annie had first kissed. Not much had changed between them. Sometimes, he thought Annie forgot that they had kissed at all. He'd always remind her. He tried to kiss her at least once a day. It was usually just a quick goodnight one. She always lit up when he did that.

Mags had noticed the change in them, even if Annie's mother had not. They sat together watching a television program one day when Mags brought it up.

"Be careful, Finnick," she said in her low voice.

Finnick clenched his jaw, "Careful of what?"

"The Capitol won't like that you have a girlfriend. They'll use her to hurt you."

"I won't let them," he spat, fire burning in his blood. "They won't have to know about her."

Mag chuckled, "They know everything. You know they do. I just need you to be careful." Her eyes dropped to her hands. "And be careful with her. Annie is fragile."

"I know," he said solemnly. _I know better than anyone_.

Sometimes a part of him wondered why he had feelings for Annie. She was not an especially easy person to love. _That's a mean thing to think, _he scolded himself, but he knew it was true. It's hard to love someone who might not be able to feel the same.

_She's the same Annie_, he thought. _She is. Now she's just..._

What? What was she? What did all these episodes mean?

One thing he knew was that the Capitol was behind it. And he hated them for it. He hated them for what they did to her far more than for what they did to him.

"Why does the girl come into your room every night?" Mags said with a smirk.

Finnick tried not to flush, "Nothing happens. She just...has nightmares sometimes."

"Or she wants to sleep in the arms of a pretty boy."

"Mags!" Finnick couldn't help but laugh.

She shrugged, "Be careful. Proximity may take over." They'd laughed again, but his thoughts weren't very funny.

He could not give Annie a stable life. They wouldn't live like a typical couple in district four. They would never be married. They could never have children. They couldn't even risk children, so they never could be lovers.

Finnick's thoughts still raced as he stayed out in the water until the sky turned dark once more. Annie had not come out to see him. Her mother was probably behind that.

Sometimes, he thought Mrs. Cresta had just as many quirks about her as her daughter did. Annie's mother was always in a panic; always desperate to protect her little girl.

Finnick knew it had to do with Annie's father, but Mr. Cresta's circumstances weren't ones they ever talked about.

When the moon finally reached a peak, Finnick went back to his house and off to bed. He'd hoped to see Annie and talk to her, but she wast there. He continued onto his own room, and fell asleep there.

About an hour later, he heard the familiar knock.

"Come in," he knew it was her. She stepped inside awkwardly, her right hand clutching her left elbow. He rolled to his side and she crawled in on hers. Turning to face her, he smiled a bit, "How was your day?"

Annie pouted, "Mom made me run errands with her and deliver some necklace she'd made." Her mother liked to make jewelry and had a small business of it. They didn't need the money, but Mrs. Cresta said it calmed her. "She didn't want me to go out and see you today."

Finnick couldn't help but feel a bit ticked, "Why?"

"She's jealous of you," Annie said. "I spend more time with you than with her. She thinks I'm too attached to you."

Finnick felt that warm feeling spreading all through him. "Are you?" He reached up his hand and ran his fingers through her hair.

She looked a bit surprised, as if this were the first time he'd touched her, but she began to smile. "You're my best friend, Finn."

Finnick had a bit of a crazy impulse, but he was known for acting on those, "I love you, Annie."

It was true. She probably wouldn't remember him saying that, but it was true.

Annie blinked. Then she leaned in closer and closer until her lips were almost on his. Her large, green eyes gazed into his, as though she was peering into his mind.

"I love you," she said, saying it like she was stating some obvious factoid.

He couldn't help but smile. He wasn't sure who started the kiss, but the kiss was wonderful.

Finnick just wanted to stay in this moment. He just wanted a simple life with Annie. The type of life they would have if they weren't involved with the Capitol.

_Maybe we could run away, _he thought, but he knew they could not.

Finnick's thought soon drifted away, and all that there was was Annie. His arms encircled her, bringing her closer into him. He knew they should stop, but neither of them were making any effort to.

Finnick wondered what making love would be like. He'd had sex before, but never had he made love.

But he would not find out tonight. Sleep got the best of them and they eventually stopped kissing and drifted off.

Holding Annie in his arms was bittersweet. Like he knew something bad was going to happen, he just wasn't sure when.

The Capitol would find out, and they were not going to be pleased.

And they were going to hurt her. They were going to hurt her terribly.


	10. The First Time

Candy Cupcake was as sickeningly sweet as her name. She had bright pink hair and insisted on wearing the most outlandish colors in her wardrobe all at once. Her laugh could pierce through metal and concrete and her voice reminded him of a dolphin's cry. He was not going to enjoy his time with her, of that he was certain.

Finnick doubted that her true name was Candy Cupcake, and he'd figured he'd get that secret out of her before the night was over. A lot of women used secret names with him when they first met. They were married and didn't want to cause a scandal.

Sometime during the sex they'd decide to trust him and spill their secrets. Honestly, it was the best payment he could get.

"Candy" had a husband who worked on the Games. Candy had a lot of interesting gossip on President Snow, gossip that he'd heard before.

"My hubby says that President Snow did some dirty things to get where he is," Candy explained over dinner. Her eating habits were disgusting as well. She'd cooked a meal of soup and salad, both of which were far too sweet for Finnick's taste. Her husband normally did the cooking, she'd said. Her husband was out for the weekend.

They always were.

Finnick gave that swoon worthy smile of his, "What _dirty_ things?"

Candy shuddered, "I can't say, really." _Oh you'll say_, he thought._ They all do._

He leaned over the table a bit, his voice in a whisper, "What if I do some..._dirty_ things? Will you tell me then?"

Candy sputtered, spewing a pink wine out of her too white teeth. Her horrific giggling grated his ears, "You are a charmer, Finnick. My sister said you were."

"Sister?" He raised a brow.

She nodded, "Veronica? She just kept bragging about you. I said 'I'll have to see for myself!' Veronica? Remember her? She said that you were in love with her?"

Finnick fought the urge to laugh. _I'm in love with every women I've been with, darling...according to them. _

He bluffed a sad face, "Ah, Veronica. It took a while to...move on from her." He drooped his eyes even more.

Perhaps Finnick should've gone into acting. He'd gotten quite good at it.

Candy reached her hand across the table and took his. Her long spindly fingers each had three brightly color rings on them.

She pushed out her bottom lip, "You're still not over her, are you? Why, it was only a few months ago." Finnick tried to remember a Veronica. There was Kelena, AnnMarie, Jacelyn...ah Veronica. Yes, he could see the resemblance.

Veronica had mentioned her sister. Yes, her sister had just married someone powerful. Someone important.

Seneca Crane. Yes, he worked for the Games. Favored to be the next Game Maker within the coming years.

_So you're Eliza Crane, his new wife_. It had been in the news, how the couple was so in love. She'd come from a wealthy, well known family and he was a well-to-do Hunger Games man. Very recently married.

_Guess someone's feeling unfulfilled by her new hubby._

Finnick bluffed his sadness, "Sometimes I feel...It's just hard, you know. She was my...first." He heaved a pretend sigh and Eliza pouted some more.

"You poor baby. Veronica's always been such a heartbreaker. Why when we were younger..." Eliza trailed on about some story but Finnick's mind was elsewhere. His first time. It was so long ago. Her name was Lydia and she was more than twice his age.

The woman had so much work done that she was nearly all plastic. She smelt like plastic too.

He so did not want to have sex with her. People acted like boys would have sex with anything. Maybe some boys would, but Finnick was not one of them. The last thing he wanted to do was kiss this woman. To see her naked. To pleasure her...

He'd thought he'd vomit. He nearly did. He thought that if he made himself sick, maybe he wouldn't have to do it.

Then he thought about Annie. They'd kill her in a heartbeat.

_For her. I'll do it to keep her safe._

The whole ordeal was awkward. Lydia did most of the work, while Finnick tried his best. All the while he was pretending the woman was someone else. Not anyone in particular...just someone who wasn't her. Someone who wasn't made of plastic.

Afterwards, he waited for her to fall asleep and then snuck into the bathroom.

He showered and showered but he didn't feel clean. He'd never feel clean again.

You couldn't tell it with the water running down his body, but he was crying all the while.

Finnick suddenly realized that Eliza had stopped talking. Her anticipatory expression told him that she'd asked a question.

"Sorry?" He said. "I was just caught in your beauty."

Eliza ate it up. Most girls did. "I was just saying that Veronica felt guilty about being unfaithful to her husband and that's why she left. Did you know that?"

I'm fairly certain I left her. No matter, the women always made up their own stories. "I didn't. But I understand. The relationship was forbidden...like ours is now."

Eliza's eyes widened. Women were all the same. A little flattery and a mention of forbidden love and they were all yours.

"My husband won't have to know."

Finnick shook his head, "It would be wrong."

She bit down on her lip, "Would it be..._naughty_?"

_Dear God, another one who thinks _she's_ seducing _me_._

"Yes..." He purred, "so naughty."

Eliza giggled that horrific giggle once more.

Finnick suppressed the urge to vomit.


	11. Okay

The sea breeze was a comforting smell. It wrapped around Annie like a blanket. It held her close, protecting her. Keeping her safe.

It reminded her of Finnick.

He would be back soon. She wasn't sure how soon, but she figured some time later in the day.

That was always what he would say when he left.

He'd kiss her real gently, like he was afraid he'd break her and say, "I'll be back soon, okay?"

She'd nod, "Okay." And say nothing else. There wasn't anything else to say. She couldn't stop him from leaving. Couldn't save him.

_Bang._

_Annie was thirteen. She was long, lean, and more bone than anything else. Her eyes were too big for her face and her wavy hair refused to be brushed. Not a beauty, but one day when she grew into her form she would be._

_She wasn't very popular. Everyone thought she was a bit odd. Annie didn't care too much. She didn't like most of the kids at school anyway._

_That day when she came home her mother was cooking dinner. The same old bland seafood soup she'd make every Tuesday._

_The soup was watered down and lacking any flavor. Exactly the same every week with no hint of a change. Never as warm a you wanted it to be. Never as good._

_You still ate it. After a while, you just grew accustomed to it._

_But every bite is still vile. Every bite is still dreaded._

_Annie walked into the kitchen. Her mother mumbled a greeting._

_"Where's dad?" Was Annie's response. Her voice was colder than she thought it would be. Fiercer._

_Her mother didn't look up, "Annie, I don't want to talk about this-"_

_"Where's dad?"_

_"Annie, what is this-"_

_"Where's dad?" She stepped forward, daring her mother not to answer. "You said you'd tell me when I was older. Well, I'm older. So where is he?"_

_And for the first time in years, her mother met her gaze._

_Her mother swallowed, "You know, your eyes are the same color as his were."_

The cry of a seagull pierced the air and brought Annie back to her senses. It was growing darker, the tide coming closer to her. She thought Finnick would be back by now. He would've come out and said hello but he was no where to be seen.

She figured it was best to go back inside. Her mother was probably worried.

But then again her mother was always worried.

...  
"The Fisherman's Festival is next week," Annie said, choking down her mother's soup.

Her mother just nodded, pushing her spoon around her bowl, clanging the sides of it like she was trying to make music.

"Will you try to sell some seashell necklaces?" Annie prompted again.

Her mother shrugged.

Annie squinted, anger boiling inside. Her mother always wondered why Annie preferred spending time with Finn over her. It was because Finn would talk back.

Annie pushed out her chair, "I'm going for a walk."

Annie mother finally looked up, "It's dark."

"I'll bring a light," Annie replied, walking out and ignoring whatever else her mother had to say. She had to get out of the house; it was suffocating her.

"_**Were**__?" Annie pressed, leaning in closer to her mother. "What do you mean?" She walked over to the table and placed her palms down, trying to tower over her mother. To intimidate her. To get her to say something...anything._

_Her mother swallowed, lifting her napkin and dabbing her nose. "It was many years ago..."_

_"I know." Annie spat._

_Her mother blinked calmly, "Many years, but I still remember the men taking him away." She sat down the napkin, methodically straightening out the folds. "You father often went outside the boundaries to fish. That's where the big game was, behind the boundaries."_

_Annie sunk, pulling her hands back as falling into a chair. "So he got in trouble...for fishing?" Annie knew it would sound terrible, but she thought her father would've done something more severe. Fishing wasn't a terrible crime. Maybe if he'd been a secret hit man or spy she could've understood but fishing? Fishing didn't seem too much a crime._

_Her mother nodded, "They told him to stop, but he would not. Later, in a bar he and some of his friends were joking, talking about overthrowing the Capitol. Just drunken ramblings, but the Capitol takes any talk of an overthrow as serious. So they took him away."_

_"Where?" Annie asked, eager to know more._

"Annie, what are you doing out here? It's dark and cold." Finnick's voice cut througg her memory. She became aware of the cold chill, the sand in her toes, the sound of the waves. She didn't remember walking outside, nor did she remember getting this far down the beach. It was very cold, especially in the tank top she was wearing.

Finnick took off his white, baggy shirt and wrapped it over her shoulders.

"Normal people just don't take off their shirts for no good reason, Finn," Annie said .

He smirked, "You're cold. That's a good reason."

She studied him, "Why were you gone so long."

"I'm sorry. I came back as soon as I could." Finnick put his arm around her as they walked back down the beach. "How are you?"

She shrugged, "The same. The Games are soon, aren't they?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

"They don't want me there, do they?"

"It doesn't matter, Annie." He said with finality in his voice.

They didn't say anything else the rest of the way back.

Finnick was a very heavy breather when he slept. It normally soothed her, but it seemed nothing could put her to sleep. Not Finnick, or the sound of the waves, or the thoughts of the next day.

Annie tried not to, but she thought of the Capitol women. The ones Finnick had...had. She wondered what they were like. Were they pretty? Sexy? Flirtatious? Awful? Gross? Terrible? The topic really wasn't one she ever brought up with Finnick; he never wanted to talk about it.

The thoughts were enough to drive a women mad.

Finnick wasn't truly her's and he wouldn't be. Plain as that.

It was twisted and demented, but Annie couldn't help but wonder why Finnick didn't want _her._ She understood that sex probably was a chore to him by now but she didn't understand why Finnick had never tried to be with her.

It would be different with her, couldn't he see? She loved him. Loved him so much she thought her chest might burst. She wanted to be with him in every human way.

_You selfish, selfish girl. Finnick is fragile. Finnick doesn't likes sex after what he's been through. He wouldn't want you._

She was probably right. Probably.

Finnick rolled over, facing her. He smiled a bit, "You okay?"

"Couldn't sleep," she said, trying to hide her sadness.

"What's wrong?"

"I..." _Selfish. Mean. Insensitive_. "It's nothing. It wouldn't be..." Annie couldn't look at him anymore. "It's selfish. Never mind."

Finnick moved closer, intertwining his hand with hers. Her heart beat faster and faster so much she thought it may burst. Couldn't he see what he was doing to her?

"Hey," he laughed kindly. "You can tell me anything, you know that."

She nodded, but still couldn't look at him for the shame she felt. "I...do you want me, Finn?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, as if he was trying to make sense of what she said. "I love you, Annie."

"That's not what I..." She took a deep breath, hating that she was going to have to say it again. "Do you want me, Finnick?"

He studied her, "Do I..." His eyes widened. "Oh."

Annie exhaled, "It's stupid to ask, I'm sorry. I was just curious because-"

"Of course I want you."

She finally meet his green eyes, "You do?"

"Of course," he said earnestly. "Only if you want me too."

Her heart fluttered like humming bird wings, "Yes!" Annie hushed her voice, "I mean, I just didn't know if you did. Because you never tried."

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," He told her. "I never wanted you to be...forced into things like-"

Annie out a finger to his mouth, "I understand, Finn." And she did. It made sense and her heart swelled even more with love for him. "I'm sorry I said anything."

Gently, he took her hand and kissed it, "Don't be." And then he kissed her. A good, proper long one. Annie interlaced his fingers with his hair, pulling him closer to her. "Maybe," he breathed. "Maybe soon...if you want...we could try."

Annie smiled and kissed him, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes," Annie kissed him once more. "Okay."


End file.
